Millions of versions

October 23, 2021

I’m a bit of a deep thinker, and I wanted to invite you down one of the tunnels of thought I recently had.

It all started when I asked a few people close to me what videos they thought I should make for YouTube; I asked them what they thought I was good at and what came to mind when they thought of me.

The response I got was not only super varied, but it wasn’t what I expected at all. For example, my older brother said I should make videos about getting straight A*s. He always sees me, rather proudly, as his smart, nerdy little sister even though I left school ages ago and mentally, I feel like I’ve moved on from that version of me.

It made me realise that everyone I know has a different idea of who I am in their head, and likewise, so do I. The person that I think I am only really exists for me.

Maybe millions of versions of “me” exist in the minds of everyone I’ve ever come across- my family, my friends, my coworkers, my neighbours and every single person I’ve ever made contact with, even just for a moment. All of these versions may have some similarities, but they’re marred by first impressions, different memories, that individual’s own beliefs, small things like whether I was having a good day or a bad day when I was with them and how long I’ve known them for. No version is ever the same.

That’s a pretty incredible thought, isn’t it? We are who we think are, but simultaneously, to others, we are who they think we are. We become small creations in their heads and we’re able to exist in infinite forms.

I guess, maybe ironically, this very idea has made me realise that I don’t need to overthink who I am. It’s liberating, because sometimes I do care what other people think of me, but ultimately the way others see me isn’t just about who I am, it’s about who they are.

Who I am, or who I believe I am, only really exists for me and no one knows that version of me like I do.

This is messy food for thought, I guess and I hope I haven’t left you scratching your head!

Words Of The Week

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone"

- Audrey Hepburn

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